(Poem) The Black Sheep

Tausha May Bush                             The Black Sheep:

Who am I any different

Than what you see?

I’m a girl who hides in the tent

That isolates who wishes not to be seen

All these feelings I feel

All these doubts

My lips are kept sealed

That still awaits to be revealed

But who can I trust

Who will not blow me away like dust?

There is a moment when you lust

But until you rust

I once came from a family

Who treated me like an animal

It took awhile to be full tamely

To be a full human mammal

If you had been through this before

Then listen to my voice

And therefore

Before I say it twice

I once didn’t have a mouth

That can speak

So I didn’t know what path

I can take

I don’t know who to depend on

For someone to lean too

To look upon

Someone who will guide you through

Every time I think I know

Who’ll be there for me

Yet again I get buried in the snow

Not knowing who’ll be back for me

I am alone

I am trapped

I lost my tone

My voice is unknowned

Was once neglected

Was once abused

Was once raped

Was once ignored

Was once wounded

Was once betrayed

Was once harassed

Was once Isolated

I hid all my tears

Held everything in my treasure

That’s for sure

For all these years

Don’t know when I will unlock

For water to spill

Before the tick tock

How many things I can spell

For what I will

Before my time on the clock

Before the drill

The time will still click

Tick Tock Tick Tock Click

Tick Tock Tick Tock Click

Time is running short

For I am the black

I will stand out

I will not hold things behind my back

As many will stay in the brightest days

While I am in the middle

I am in the black hole

Wanting to know my ways

As I know I’m not black

I am white

My name without a plank

It’s too bright

I don’t know my purpose

If I did my calling would have appeared

But I can’t take a pose

Who will reappeared?

I’m dressed in black wool

Everyone else dressed in white wool

I’m on top of the stool

While everyone take a stroll

I pick up a white chalk

Since I draw

It’s a way to talk

Or walk away

I heard someone told me I was different

From all the rest

Why am I different?

Because your not like us

That’s when I knew

To this day

It wasn’t nothing new

All I know it was a new day from yesterday

I hated to take all the blame

For stuff I didn’t do

Never had the fame

It’s not like that I wanted to

No one really listens what I say

When I get all in high spirits

When I get pushed away

I wanted to impale myself with spears

No one listens when

I was in danger

Who was there for me than?

I wanted to stab myself with a dagger

No one came to my rescue

When I cried for help

For as for this case

Bury me way in the deep

All these feelings I felt

As a young teen

How do I dealt

With all this pain?

I’ve been hurt all my life

I wish if someone who was alive

Who would lift me

To make me live

To that  I had promised

My pappy who was dying in bed

I would keep on moving forward

Towards ahead of the road

Now it feels that I am too ashamed

Feel disgusted with myself

Because I am a black sheep

I am within thyself

I wanted to have a dream

High spirited is up

But fallen into a stream

Now I don’t know if there is hope

I want to have hope

But I’m tied into a rope

And being called a dope

Give praises to the Pope

My eyes swell up like a tank

When the water is over the eyelids

Salty tears fall down into the sink

The liquid drips drips drips

Drip drop drip drop

Must keep my hopes up

Drip drop drip drop

Don’t be a dope

I tell myself everyday

Or yesterday

Even the other day

Either way and every way

Seven days of the week

I can be a geek

But I’m also meek

I’m sometimes too weak

Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays

January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December

Only twelves months

Only 365 days a year

Thousands of mouths

Who are still with full of concern and consear  

I had been betrayed

By my own mother

My own father

Those I thought I would be protected

So much anger and confusion

So much desperate and lost

So much defusion

Everything in my mind is all frost

Once my heart felt so frozened

So much darkness

That I held inside

I felt powerless

My own mother

Making me feel bad

When she says how I am like my father

But I’m nothing to compare to my dad

My own father

Walked out from my mother

Before knowing I was going to be a sister

To my little brother

So many questions

Still unknown

So I sworn

What is my decisions?

I will no longer will hide

I will show my identity

Wind of the tide

I’ll go to the infinity

Infinity and beyonder

What goes on the yonder

Here I will wonder

When I will pounder

I will no longer have thoughts

Of sacrificing my own

Suicide attempts

I have grown so much of what I known

I will overcome my past

Still hoping to have faith in God

Though it will be a task

These are the test I will take for God

I maybe be a black sheep

But I’m not forgotten

Go on to try to rip me up into pieces of sheets

For I will still stand here

Has I and all take the stand

Who would stand out there the most?

I raised my right hand

Hoping for the best

I am the Black Sheep

For I alone will stood out

For there my small voice makes a peep

For I finally make a shout

Here’s my question